Today I’m contributing to the Writing Mama Blog Hop, curated by the inimitable Sharon Bayliss, whose December People series is burning up the Amazon charts at the moment (see what I did there?).
I’m a parent. Yeah, that’s a heavy thing. Kids, man. They have to eat, sleep, and learn to read and perform higher mathematics. It’s our job as parents to make sure that happens with minimum injury. We’re occasionally successful, but the price every parent pays to keep their children on the path clear of natural selection is the most precious commodity we possess. And that commodity is time.
Which sucks when you’re trying to foster a career as a full-time writer. It’s hard enough making a living writing full-time. I know I can’t cut it just yet. Bills are too big, and it’s not just me I’m trying to support. So I have to work harder to get my books out if I ever plan to quit the day job and fulfill my passion. More like a life plan, really. But it’s not the money that presents the greatest obstacle as a writing parent. As I said, time is an enormous drain.
As a writer, I have to create a far more rigid schedule. I can no longer write on whim. The morning is utterly consumed with getting ready for work, packing the boy’s lunch and making him breakfast, getting him out the door in time for me to leave. Then there’s the day job, which is necessary at the moment. That kills the lion’s share of my creative window, which for me is late a.m. into the early afternoon. Then it’s another hour-long commute home (thanks so much, crappy economy) and the boy’s already at home doing homework. Thus begins dinner-making, exercise, karate and other extra-curricular activities. And if I want to be a parent who is more “present” than “absent”, some quality goofing-off time with the family.
The boy’s in bed by 8:30pm, which leaves me my golden period of time to squeeze in as much word count as I can before either my brain completely goes numb, or the pull to spend time with the wife intervenes. This is basically one hour per day. That’s not much. It’s not as much as I want.
But them’s the breaks when you’re a parent. The child is priority. The family is a very close second. And society pressure is such that men must work full-time at the expense of all avocations. It is certainly frowned upon when a man announces he’s quitting work to pursue [insert hair-brained scheme here]. It’s the stuff of sitcoms, and has been the rocks upon which many dreams have been dashed.
I’m not here to complain about my life… but if you’re an author and a parent, particularly a father working full-time while trying to convert a career into writing, you might take comfort to know that your frustrations are shared. The only way to crank out quality writing in this intense time-squeeze?
1) Keep your belly-fire stoked. If you constantly crave the writing process, the need to spin that yarn, the inexorable siren call of that completed first draft… then you’ll find a way to get your butt in the seat at the end of the day.
2) Kill the Mood Fairy. Your writing can no longer be dictated by mood. You have a small window to create, and thus your muse must punch her clock on your schedule. Be vicious. Ruthless. Unforgiving. It’s your time… guard it with your life.
3) Keep your family happy. You’ll need complete support from the spouse and the children. Otherwise they’ll find benign yet corrosive means of undermining your writing drive. They’ll want you to come watch TV, spend all weekend with them, manage to insinuate that you can always put it off until later. You can, technically… but procrastination has a vicious kind of momentum that’s hard to reverse.
Best of luck, comrades, with balancing your family life and your need to write. There’s no magic wand yet that I’ve found. I am lucky in a way that most others don’t share. My wife is also a novelist, and we tend to share our Word Count Power Hours. We appreciate goading one another toward writing. It’s a lifehack, I’ll admit. AND IT’S ALL MINE! HA HA HA HA!!!
This is a Blog Hop!
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